DOCTOR HUMOR

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Here are some quotes taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians, which appeared in the Journal of Court Reporting:

- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it has completely disappeared.
- She has had no rigors and shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appeared to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition and, therefore, we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
- The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-lb weight gain in the past three days.
- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
- The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.


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